On June 26, the Supreme Court – not the ‘supreme being’ Mike Huckabee would be the first to say – came to a 5-4 ruling regarding the ban of gay marriage across the nation. The ruling legalized marriage in the United States and essentially halted all conversation with my relatives – both positive things.

But luckily for us, former Arkansas Governor, Republican presidential candidate and diabetes treatment scammer Mike Huckabee is fighting the good fight for those persecuted persecutors.

Goodie.

Huckabee, fresh from a rousing performance at the Republican debate in Cleveland last month, has had his hands full lately acting as a martyr on behalf of Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses due to her disapproval of the Supreme Court’s ruling, which requires the coverage via the Constitution on behalf of same-sex couples.

Mrs. Davis, now free from her five-day sentence, said to her crowd of gauche supporters:

“Thank you all so much. I love you all so very much. I just want to give God the glory. His people have rallied, and you are a strong people. We serve a living God who knows exactly where each and every one of us is at. Just keep on pressing. Don’t let down, because he is here. He’s worthy.”

A few things about this:

• “I just want to give God the glory.” I understand you have a religious affiliation, however, there is literally nothing miraculous about your exit from jail. Nothing out of the ordinary was required to free you. If anything, I’d argue maybe the judge deserves some glory.
• “We serve a living God who knows exactly where each and every one of us is at.” A proposition! Maybe she was thinking of Santa Claus.
• “Don’t let down, because he is here. He’s worthy.” Let’s humor her here. God is everywhere, silly. Of course he/she/it would be there.

“I have a message for the judge,” Huckabee proclaimed, “and I say this with all my heart: If this judge believes that somebody must be put in jail because a person is willing to stand on the biblical definition of marriage … Let Kim go, but if you have to put someone in jail, I volunteer to go. Let me go. Lock me up if you think that’s how freedom is best served.”

What a guy.